How To Be A Poet

During my time in college, I've started to write a lot of poetry. I can't help it-- whenever I start to feel any kind of emotion, I need to write it down, and before I know it I've zoned out through half a lecture and written some derpy poems again. Right now, my poems' primary purpose is to help me journal my thoughts rather than be of any artistic value, so they're usually awkward and clunky. But the process serves me well, and sometimes, people even think that I'm doing serious note-taking.

But of course, this often leads me to be dissatisfied with the quality of my poems. Sometimes, I wish I knew more about the art of the craft, so that I could write work with real substance. After all, I can't rely on pent up emotion forever. I need a sustainable source of inspiration and thought.

But poetry is hard. In one of my classes, I've had to opportunity to read some modern poems, and I don't even know what I'm reading half of the time. I try to look for some deeper meanings in them, but instead, I just get really confused.  I think it only goes to show the extent of my ignorance.

It's disheartening at times.
But in my defense, with lines like:

"I lovely lady lumps
your lumps as lovely",

what am I possibly supposed to extract? Poor grammar? Uncreative word choice? Possibly even plagiarism, from Fergie? There are times when I can appreciate a little mystery in poetry, but these kinds of things are not mysterious-- they're just weird. I often wonder how certain pieces make it through editing and publishing. There must have been some interesting deliberation behind the scenes.

Maybe the goal is to make the reader as confused as possible. After all, we are most susceptible to new ideas and influence in moments of confusion and weakness. In fact, it seems like a pretty smart move. I'll keep it in mind for the future.

I've also noticed that my name isn't cool enough for me to be a poet. All of the most accomplished, reputed masters have names that sound like poetry themselves. Honestly, who has a last name like "Frost" these days? And what kind of parents would you need to get a name like "William Carlos Williams"? These people got a lucky draw, in my opinion. In my case, there is no such happy coincidence. If anything, my initials are just one letter away from being "KFC". 

But maybe that could be my pen name. I think "Kathy Chicken" sounds kind of legitimate. I could write some pretty good poems about farm life with it, and then I would be famous, and people would marvel at how coincidental it all is. (Like writing about snowy evenings, with a last name like Frost. Dang you, Frost!)

Lastly, I think I don't experiment enough. My poems all align to the margin, follow pretty set rules of rhythm, and stick with a central idea. But look at the beautiful work of e. e. cummings (another cool name guy), or Gertrude Stein. These people are real masters. Who else could think to write an entire poem misspelling the word "grasshopper", or come up with a line like, "Sugar is not a vegetable"? These concepts are simply beyond my capabilities. Perhaps for this reason alone, I could never become a world famous poet.

But for now, I will still try. So far, I've established that my poetry isn't confusing enough, and that I need a cooler name, and that I need to get really funky with my format and wording. So here's my best try. I've worked pretty hard on this, but it's still not perfect, so I'd appreciate it if you all gave me some feedback. Here it goes:

Deep, Fried.
by Kathy Flora Chicken

Chicken.
chicken-- fried?
          Fry: to fly.
to fly the chicken.
Wherefore do I
                    F     R     Y    THECHICKEN?
It must be golden,
for licken'.
And if not: chikiecn
To where
                    "ba-gok"
must I-
find                the              C:hi:ck:en?
Ohlisten.
D o y o u h e a r t h e 
THE
thehhe--

sqUAwk
in.

I think it's the start of a beautiful career. Let me know what you think!

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But in all seriousness, I don't mean to disregard the incredible work that poets do, classic or modern. In fact, a lot of the writers I've made fun of in this post have written some of my favorite poems. I highly recommend them to those looking for some interesting work to read!